Where am I Between the here and there. Holding space for all. Where am I? Am I lost? Am I found? We are all a part of this grand scheme, What, if anything does it mean? Can I hold you like a grain of sand In my hand, in my heart? Where am I? […]
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Yes But, Am I Allowed to Feel This Way?
Lately I have been struggling with some questions (nothing new). I have realized that I have bought into the spiritual teachings that say you have to always be happy, reach for the highest vibration and not focus on sadness, pain, and other “lower” vibrational feelings. But, what if those feelings are still there no matter […]
Getting Grief Right
It was a year since my son’s passing into non-physical on February 6th. One thing I have noticed since then is my need to do things “right.” Nothing has brought the absurdity of this more to the forefront than grief. I mean, is there any way to get grief “right?” What would that look like […]
Hope
Sadness, anger, overwhelm, stop, I want to get off! Not buying into the illusion anymore. Truth, Knowing… What is true? Love. That’s it, That’s all I know for sure in this great expanse of world, feelings and experiences. It all comes back to this one thing, Love. Without this I am a boat floating […]
LOVE IS HERE
This is the only truth I know right now. In this truth, I am safe. In this truth, I am reborn in each moment. Love is here. Love is all there is. In the moments of self-doubt and self-abandonment, I choose to pivot into the love. I love the one who feels unworthy. […]
January 1st 2018
A new year. A new beginning. Time to rejoice in fresh starts and new chances. Yes, I feel all of this and more. However, I have felt this within each moment of each day since my son passed. I have to because each moment is so different from the previous one. Also, the thought […]
How Am I?
Whatever you want me to say, pretend I said it.-Jan Warner My husband always asks me how I am. I know he worries but boy am I fed up with that question. Some days I will respond with a pat, “I’m fine.” Today it was, “I’m here.” What does he want from me? Reassurance that […]
Why?
I don’t know. I don’t know how my son died. I don’t know where he is, really. I don’t know what I am or why I am here. I don’t know my next step. There are so many unknowns in life. Will I see my boy again? Does he really hear me? Are those signs […]
Feeling Powerless
Feeling Powerless I realize now that I cannot fix everyone and everything. In fact, it is not even my job to try. Other’s pain no longer has to be mine. I release it with love to the Divine. Slowly piecing myself back together. Was I ever whole? I don’t remember. Shattered into billions of […]
A Bridge to You
A Bridge to You My love Spans all space and time. Life and death do not exist For my love. It stretches its arms wide To reach and hold you close. You are my angel, My son in Heaven. Love Always, Mom Photo by Jake Melara on Unsplash